one day i have a trip with my friends to an island , and my friend ask me "jadi kesan pesan nya apa ?
i think
i think
i think
i have no words to describe my feelings , all i know i'm just happy and i could feel my self . i was answer the question "sesuatu yang indah tidak bisa diucapkan kata-kata".
and in the other day maybe i can call it "fight" but actually it just a deep dissapointed for me .
we don't talk anymore , it hurts me so bad to see her in the sosmed , and i think i become stranger for her .
if i look back in the past it was a good memories , but i can't live in the past tough.
she was told me "time goes people changes" and i think time make her changed and so do i.
it just the worst part in my life (ini kok lebay ya) mungkin bukan bukan worst juga sih tapi memasuki kualifikasi lah kalo di sebut "bagian yang menyedihkan".
i started to write but seriously i have no idea there is no words can desribe my feelings so in that time i just write on my personal book "sesuatu yang indah tidak bisa diucapkan dengan kata-kata begitu juga sebaliknya sesuatu yang buruk pun tidak bisa diucapkan dengan kata-kata" and me just realized all that i need is read more , more and more .
whatever it book , article , newspaper atau brosur cicilan .
dari salah satu buku yang saya baca saya mendapatkan pencerahan baru eaaaa (habis gelap terbitlah terang) , di dalam buku itu si penulis mengajarkan untuk menjadi pribadi yang damai , dan welas asih . memberi tanpa pamrih dan ikhlas untuk menerima setiap peristiwa. and me just silent for a moment meresapi setiap kalimat nya . dan ada sedikit penyesalan (sedikit aja nggausah banayak-banyak) karena pernah emosional banget but it's okay sense of human lah ✌
setelah itu ngga lama aku menemukan an article about acceptance and it said "often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self"- Karen Salmansohn.
and i think it's time to grow , being a beautiful meh huahahaha (agak jijiq gitu ya bacanya) 😂😂
someone told me that "people come and go only the best one stay or come back one day" wtf i think the best one would never left. (from the deepest of my heart i still believe she is there never left me) tapi sayang otak nya saya nggamau kompromi :(
"sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be bright" the goodquote said 😂😂
and then i decided to make a peace with my self , control my anger and accept the reality so i can talk with everyone easily.
life must go on
just see the good side
now , the best thing is we make it up i come back in to group i'm so glad very glad i'm so blessed .
it was a long and complicated story i think wkwk .
and i got a lot lesson yang mungkin ngga akan aku dapatkan kalo hal hal kek itu nggak kejadian . and so yea ketika kita memberi apapun itu bahkan waktu , memberi lah tanpa memiliki keinginan/harapan agar orang itu melakukan hal yang sama kepada kita just be good for no reason .
she is a good friend
hmmm
no i lied
cz she is more than just good .
i'm glad to know her and i can't ask God for more .
she was always push me up to get out from comfort zone , whenever i said " i can't do this i'm not qualified" she always told me "believe on yourself"
she is not good at college things but she has a willingness to learn ,
she is not good for giving some advice but she is good listener ,
she had bad sense of jokes but she was jokes for me (sorry) hahaha
and she is trully badass with a warm heart .
so if one day there is a day when we mad at each other , have a fight or being apart i want you to know i still love you in that day and if you have no place to go you can come and lean on me :)
please remember you have a bestfriend who love you for who you are and in the future when u already have a man who fix your heart i still on your back ^^
